do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
