He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
