It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
