If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
