I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize