Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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