doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize