New low: just hacked my moms facebook
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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