Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
