I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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