Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Im part way to drunk.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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