Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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