honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
