Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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