I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know itβs 1:30am on a Thursday.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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