He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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