She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
