he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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