You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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