i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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