we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
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