so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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