and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
