I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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