Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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