to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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