Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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