his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
