I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I FOUND THE LEGS
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
