my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
