Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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