I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
