Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
