the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
After tacos, we're chasing women.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
