So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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