how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
