So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
