he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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