do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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