If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
