You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
