it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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