I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize