I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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