So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
