Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
