i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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