I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
