doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
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