man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
