Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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