I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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