New invention idea: vibrating tampons
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
