I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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