I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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