C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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