dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize