You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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