if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
God, I missed his penis.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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