If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
