google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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